Name Withheld

When the Relief Society Zion Challenge to study a conference talk began, I was really excited because I like things like this. The conference talk I chose to focus and study was Elder Juan A. Uceda’s October 2016 conference talk, The Lord Jesus Christ Teaches Us to Pray.  As I read the talk and really pondered his words, the message of his talk for me became clear. I recognized similar experiences in my life and I knew that sorrow that comes from not recognizing and obeying the voice of the Spirit even when I had prayed for protection that same morning. I felt the same resolve to improve and studied on how I would follow this counsel.

Then shortly after that, I re-read and began to study Bishop Dean M. Davies conference talk The Blessings of Worship. I loved the example he shared of humble people who came to church, not out of duty but to truly worship, who were truly having an extra ordinary experience. I knew that I too could   improve in my worship, not only on the Sabbath but in every day. I thought on times when I had had extra ordinary experiences and I desired to have them more often in my worshipping, making note of what I would do to help this happen.

Well a couple of weeks went by and I felt strongly pulled to Elder D. Todd Christopherson’s conference talk, Abide In My Love. I was so moved when he said, to abide in God’s love means to submit fully to His will, to accept His correction when needed, to love and serve one another as Jesus has loved and served us. “Will ye not now return unto me and repent of your sins and be converted that I may heal you?”  The part where he said, “That I may heal you” really stood out to me as sometimes I feel bruised, broken or worn out. And I contemplated on the importance of humility and repentance in my life and the healing balm repentance has been and continues to be for me.

Then I began to think, I am messing this challenge up. I need to stick to one talk and really focus on it and complete the challenge. But then I began to understand that I am learning to truly personalize these conference talks and apply them to ME! They no longer are a mere part of my to-do list of required reading. These talks are becoming a part of me!

You see, in the past I have always listened to conference and even taken notes, knowing that in the following week I will be able to read the conference addresses when they become available on lds.org.  Then I will listen to them again throughout the coming months. I will play them on my device when I am getting ready in the mornings, or when I am in my car during my drive to town. I enjoy the positive, uplifting messages and the feelings of peace. But the thing is, I was listening to them but I am not sure I was really hearing and understanding their message for me, on a personal level. It’s kind of like a duck in the rain, water is raining down on the duck but the duck isn’t really getting wet. I thought I was doing a good job but through this experience of learning to personalize these modern-day revelations from God’s chosen leaders and let the Spirit teach me what the messages are for me, and what I need to understand for personal growth, I have begun asking myself questions like; what do I need do, or maybe do differently, or do more of or less of and then journaling a few of my thoughts as I feel new understanding and personal revelation begins to flow inside me. I have truly gained from this challenge. I have learned that merely dialing up and listening to a conference talk is not enough for me anymore.  It can be so much more.